You would think that by now, after getting my hope knocked down millions of times, that I would be used to this. Oddly enough, I'm still heartbroken every time. I don't understand how someone can make a promise and not keep it. I don't understand how you can work so hard to make things go right and they just go wrong.
Today was my last day of working in the deli for the summer. I was happy and hopeful and excited for the night to come. Some people (who aren't good enough to me to be called "friends", but are too good to me to be called "coworkers") planned to have a midnight swim party to celebrate my hiatus and the end of summer. It sounded fun. I thought that this would be my last chance to really have fun this summer after working so hard. I was promised that even though I didn't have a ride, somehow I would get to the party. And somehow I would have a fun night. Well...I didn't get to the party and I am most certainly not having a fun night. I've been chain smoking and listening to Explosions in the Sky. Does that sound fun?! NO!
So, really...why am I upset?
I thought that maybe after all the sucky "friendships" I've had, that these people might actually be worth my while. I thought that they actually cared enough about me to make sure that I got to the party. But I'm not so important to them and that's the hardest thing to live with. I'm disappointed that I don't mean nearly as much to them as they do...did...to me.
